


love of my life

by tinykarasu



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, Happy Ending, I don't know how to tag this, Kinda, M/M, Songfic, mentions of shorters death, mentions of trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 23:04:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18020171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinykarasu/pseuds/tinykarasu
Summary: It’s been 2 years since Eiji had last seen Ash. 2 years ago he returned to Japan after sustaining that serious injury, and he never saw or heard from Ash again.





	love of my life

**Author's Note:**

> i've been wanting to do my own little banana fish fix it fic for a while.. i'm not the kind of person that can write really long fics, so i hope this one chapter fix it is good enough. i had fun pouring my heart and soul into it though asdknj

It’s been 2 years since Eiji had last seen Ash. 2 years ago he returned to Japan after sustaining that serious injury, and he never saw or heard from Ash again.

To say these 2 years have been hard on him is an understatement. Sure, he works with Ibe-san sometimes, and he helps his mom and sister around the house, but otherwise he stays in his room. He left for America with high hopes to change his fate after his injury, and it sure changed, but now he is back in Japan with a broken heart. He is depressed and haunted by the traumatic things that happened while he was in America, but also haunted by the fact that the most important person in his life is no longer with him. His hair has gotten longer, it goes past his shoulders now, and he finds no need to cut it. He eats, but not enough. Sometimes he finds it too difficult to get up and make a meal if he’s the only one home. He finds no motivation to take care of himself properly. It’s so unlike him… He feels like he’s broken now. Like an empty shell of who he once was. Eiji usually lays in his bed when he has no responsibility, and he floats in the numbness he has succumbed to. 

That is what he is doing currently, curled up in his sheets in his bedroom. As Eiji laid in his bed, the soft melody of a song filled his ears. He forgot that he had put an old CD he had gotten in America into his CD player. A CD that him and Ash listened to together a few times, one with a bunch of classic songs from different artists burnt into it. The familiar, solemn piano melody of a certain song echoed off of the walls in his room. His English may not be the best, but he understood the song just enough. This is the first time he really thought about the lyrics, though. 

_Love of my life, you've hurt me_  
_You've broken my heart and now you leave me_  
_Love of my life, can't you see?_  
_Bring it back, bring it back_  
_Don't take it away from me, because you don't know_  
_What it means to me_

The next thing Eiji knew, he was breaking down again. This was something very familiar to him now, suddenly bursting into tears at the memories and longing for his friend. His face buried deep into his sheets as sobs rolled through his body violently. Images from his memory flashed before his eyes, as well. A mixture of the more lighthearted moments in New York, along with the more gruesome and traumatizing ones. 

Ash eating with him in the hideout. Being captured by Golzine. Watching Shorter be tortured. Shorter’s lifeless body falling on top of his own. Living in that apartment with Ash. Cooking meals for him. Taking care of Ash. Joking and playing around with him. Eiji waiting long nights for Ash to come home. Saving Ash from Dino. Running from Foxx and his men. The hospital where Ash told him sayonara.

_Love of my life, don't leave me_  
_You've taken my love, you now desert me_  
_Love of my life, can't you see?_  
_Bring it back, bring it back_  
_Don't take it away from me_  
_Because you don't know_  
_What it means to me_

He refused to believe Ash was dead, but where was he if he was alive? He never received phone calls from him, and Max never had any updates about him when he called Ibe-san. 

But, the idea of him being alive and knowing nothing of his whereabouts is better than the idea of him being dead.

Even so, the thought of Ash being dead was too much for Eiji to handle. Just the very idea of his blonde friend not being a part of this world anymore was unbearable. Eiji didn’t want to live on a planet where Ash didn’t exist. He sobbed and sobbed for god knows how long. The CD that was playing had stopped long ago, white noise from the CD player filling the air.

As Eiji's sobs finally slowed down, he rolled over and looked up at the ceiling, long hair slightly covering his eyes.

Was Ash the love of his life? Is that why this hurts so bad no matter how much time passes?

Before he could think about it more, sleep engulfed his tired, worn out body. 

 

—

Eiji finds himself stirring awake due to knocks on his door. Who could it be? The only possibility he could think of is maybe his little sister, since she sometimes forgets to bring the house keys with her when she leaves in the morning. He takes a deep breath, standing up slowly from his bed. His body was aching, and his head hurt from his previous breakdown. But, he believed he could put himself together enough to answer the door. He wiped his face to get rid of his dried up tears as he exited his room and walked through the house. His feet and legs felt impossibly heavy as he walked, but after what seemed like ages, he made it to the door. His hand came up to unlock the door and slide it open, and he looked up at the tall figure that stood there.

He suddenly felt weak in his legs, knees wobbling as he took in the sight. The sun was behind the figure, but he could recognize that silhouette anywhere. He recognized that figure from the long nights he used to wait to see it coming through the doorway. There was no mistake that the long limbs and fluffy hair of this figure belonged to that same person. His eyes widened as his mouth opened, unable to find the right words. 

“A-... Ash?” He asked, accent thick as he spoke the familiar name that belonged to the blonde before him. 

Eiji’s legs gave out beneath him, and he slowly sunk to the floor and sat on the ledge of the _genkan._

“Eiji,” The blonde said with urgency, pulling in his small suitcase and shutting the door before dropping to his knees. As the door shut, the figure became more clear. Those fluffy blonde locks and gorgeous jade eyes came into better view. He put his hands on Eiji’s arms, holding him steady as he tried to meet his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“A-… Ash…” Eiji repeated softly, tears welling up in his eyes yet again as his body trembled. 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay…” Ash tried to soothe him, hesitantly pulling Eiji closer. Eiji suddenly wrapped his arms around the blonde, immediately burying his face into Ash’s shoulder. 

“How are… What are you doing here? I- I thought you died, Ash… Or just nowhere to be found... You never called.” Eiji said between sobs, and then with a weak arm, he lightly smacked Ash’s shoulder. “How come you never call? Why did Max never say how you are doing?” He asked with a bit more aggravation in his voice, even between his sobs.

“Eiji, I’m sorry. You have every right to be mad at me.” Ash said softly, rubbing Eiji’s back. 

“You do not have to explain now, not if you are not ready. I am just… I am grateful you are here. I am scared that this is just a dream. I am scared I will wake up and you are gone again.” Eiji’s sobs calmed a bit as he was engulfed in Ash’s warmth and familiar scent. 

“I owe you an explanation, I know I do. I’m so sorry… I will tell you everything.” Ash answered, letting the house fill with silence afterwards as Eiji calmed down. 

Relief filled every nook and cranny of Eiji’s body, and his heart was soaring. Ash had surprised him… Ash came here to be with him as a surprise after all this time. “This is pleasant surprise, though.” He said, smiling genuinely against Ash’s denim jacket. 

Ash found himself laughing a bit, feeling happy for the first time in ages. Eiji had that power, the power to make Ash feel genuinely happy despite all of the pain in his life. Even after all this time.

Eiji pulled back to look at him. Ash looked so worn out, but still just as beautiful as he remembered. His hair was about the same length, maybe a tad shorter, but still that beautiful blonde color. Blonde hair that was radiant. And those jade green eyes… eyes that he thought he would only see in dreams for the rest of his life. Ash was right here in front of him, purely beautiful as always. 

“Are you hungry, Ash?” Eiji asked, finding the motivation to actually cook for the first time in a long time.

Ash smiled softly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’d hate to make you cook for me right when I got here… But I’ve only had coffee and a donut today.” 

Eiji clicked his tongue. “Dummy. Now I have to cook for you.” He laughed a little, standing up and straightening out his clothes. “You can leave suitcase there for now, worry about it later.” Ash was about to step in, but Eiji stopped him. “Ah, shoes off!” 

Ash smiled. Right, shoes off. He pushed them off before following Eiji into the house. It was a traditional styled house, and it really was beautiful. 

Eiji led him into the kitchen. “I do not have hot dogs or anything like that, is that okay for you, Mr. American?” He teased.

“You know, I’ll eat anything you make me. I really miss the smelly food you used to make me.” Ash teased in return, standing close behind Eiji. 

Nostalgia filled them both. They acted exactly the same around eachother as before. It reminded Ash of the days they lived in that apartment together, when Eiji would nag him about eating healthier.

Eiji stuck out his tongue playfully, before taking out some groceries from the fridge that his mother had bought yesterday. He started by washing and cutting up vegetables, carefully slicing each one with ease. He also made note that his family probably still had rice in the rice cooker from this morning. He’d have to warm that up.

Ash watched him in awe, always amazed with how good at this Eiji was. He took in Eiji’s features… he was almost the same, but there were some major differences. His hair was longer and tied into a loose ponytail, he was even wearing glasses now, and his body was slightly thinner. He seemed… smaller. Maybe he never grew, whereas Ash grew a little more.

But on top of that… Eiji seemed so tired. So weary. His expression seemed to have lost some of the brightness that he always used to have. Ash wanted to ask about everything, but he didn’t want to push it either. 

“Your hair is so long now…” Ash commented, absentmindedly reaching out to undo the loose ponytail so he could run his fingers through it. He let the hair tie slide to his wrist for safekeeping.

“Yes…” Eiji replied, letting Ash do what he pleased with his hair as he continued slicing an onion. “I never really… found the need to get it cut.” 

“You’re thinner too… have you been eating?” Ash asked with concern, now letting his hand rest on Eiji’s shoulder. Definitely thinner. 

“It is not as though I don’t eat… I just find it hard to…” Eiji paused, trying to think of the word for it. It’s been a while since he’s had to speak this much English, even if he has been practicing. “I find it hard to be motivated to take care of myself, sometimes.” 

“...I understand.” Ash definitely got what Eiji was saying. He really didn't want to pry, since Eiji was always patient when it came to his problems, but he also wanted to know. He wanted to care for Eiji just like Eiji cared for him. He waited for Eiji to speak, instead. 

As Eiji moved onto preparing the fish, he sighed. “Everything that happened in America… it has been following me. I am… traumatized. I know that is the same for you, too. You are also in pain...” He smiled a little despite the serious topic. “But I think… I think now that we are with eachother again, we can learn how to heal?” He looked back and up at Ash with that hopeful gleam in his eyes, and Ash couldn’t help but grin. 

“Yeah, I think we can. I’ve left all of that behind, now. I feel like I can finally breathe now that I’m here…” Ash replied, watching Eiji peel the fish’s skin off… gross. 

Eiji finished dinner fairly quickly, and they ate together. They had some small talk and some of their classic banter, and Eiji felt as though he was in Heaven on Earth. This was everything he had ever hoped for. Ash with him again, laughing, joking, eating… and they don’t have anything to worry about now. They don’t have to watch their backs for anything. They were safe and together.

Once they were done eating, Eiji put the leftovers away for his family, and Ash helped wash the dishes and pots. As soon as that was done, Eiji collected Ash’s suitcase from the _genkan,_ and he gave a little house tour. The house wasn’t that big, so it didn’t take long, and they finally reached Eiji’s room after a bit.

Eiji put the suitcase in the corner, and he sat on his bed. Ash looked around, not really surprised by how Eiji’s room looked. It was so… him. Organized, with a desk, and a long bookshelf with some belongings next to his bed. He watched as Eiji took his glasses off and sprawled out on his sheets, and Ash smiled before following suit. Eiji turned to lay on his side so he can look at Ash again, trying to really register that he was actually in front of him. 

“Oh,” Eiji said as he got up, seeming like he forgot something. Ash watched as he walked around the bed and went over to the bookshelf, and he pressed a button on an old looking CD player. Eiji laid back down in his spot, and he smiled. 

“Remember?” He asked, and as the first song kicked in, Ash knew what it was. They listened to the first few songs in mostly silence, except for a few little jabs and giggles here and there. 

After a moment of silence, Ash spoke up. “So, about that explanation I owe you…” 

Eiji’s face went serious, but still soft. Ash continued, “I… Kind of cut myself out of everyone’s life as much as I could. Especially you. I wanted to follow you here, but after you left, something happened with Lao where I got really hurt… So I knew I still had enemies.” 

Eiji reached out to place a hand on Ash’s arm, trying to soothe him as he talked about it. It must be difficult to talk about, but Eiji was so grateful that Ash trusted him as much as he did.

“So… to keep everyone safe, since I was scared someone would hurt the people I care about because of me, I cut everyone off. I especially wanted to keep you safe more than anything. I had to change my identity entirely, and I was on the run… But after a while, I realized that us being apart was probably hurting you. It was hurting me too. I didn’t want to keep being away from you.” Ash finished with that, and he met Eiji’s round, dark eyes. 

“I understand… I wish I at least heard about you, but I understand why I could not.” Eiji said softly, hand running down Ash’s arm to hold his hand. “But we are together now, so everything is okay, yes?” 

Ash nodded. “Yeah, I made it so no one would know where I am, so we can be safe… I’ll never leave you alone like that again. Plus, I kept the letter you gave me, and I always looked at it… Not a day passed by where I didn’t think about you.”

Eiji smiled, “I always think about you too.” The song that was playing ended, and the familiar tune of a song Eiji heard earlier today filled the room. 

Ash shut his eyes as the slow music played, and he seemed to be appreciating it’s beauty. “Queen… This song is one of my favorites.” He said. 

“Ash…” Eiji spoke softly, “Earlier today, I realized something.” He admitted, heart pounding in his chest. He smiled softly, letting his eyes meet those beautiful jade eyes again. 

“I realized that… you are the love of my life.” Ash seemed flustered by this, since his face went a tinge of red, but he let Eiji continue. “And I realized that I didn’t want to live if you were not with me. I didn’t want to live a life without you, since you are the most important person to me. The love of my life...” Eiji let his gaze drop, but he squeezed Ash’s hand tighter. 

“But now you are here… you are alive. I can go on now that we are together again, Ash.” Eiji continued.

Ash suddenly came forward to wrap his arms around the smaller man, holding him close. Eiji was surprised, but he returned the hug with no hesitation. He was so happy that Ash trusted him enough to not only talk about his feelings, but to have physical contact with him. Eiji knew how difficult that could be for him. 

“Eiji… You’re the love of my life too.” Eiji felt his heart soaring again as he heard those words. Ash went on, “I realized that a little while ago, and once I did, that’s when I knew I had to come be with you. I had to come to Japan or else we would both keep suffering without our other half. It sucks that it took me this long to realize, though.” 

Eiji listened to Ash’s words and the beautiful sound of the sad song playing softly behind it. “Ash…” He said, pulling back to look up at him. 

“Eiji, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Ash said, not beating around the bush. “I want to meet your family, I want you to show me all your favorite places around here, I want to be with you forever. It’s cheesy, I know… but it’s true.”

Eiji nodded, agreeing. “Yes… I want you to stay. That is what I wanted all along, for you to be with me here, in Izumo.” 

“Ee… zoo-mo.” Ash repeated, making them both burst into giggles.

“I’ll have to teach you Japanese, too.” Eiji teased.

_Back, hurry back._  
_Please bring it back home to me,_  
_Because you don't know_  
_What it means to me._

_Love of my life,  
Love of my life._

**Author's Note:**

> the happy ending they deserve


End file.
